hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
