Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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