everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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