I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
