I'm gonna have a badass scar
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
