he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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