And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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