Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
