I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
