If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
