We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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