Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
