Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she peed on how many people?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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