I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
