I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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