i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So vagazzling was a success
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
