There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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