3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
