okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
