Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
