At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
