I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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