I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
