just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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