Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Say something about gay babies.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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