Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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