I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
