she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You're like the curious george of whores
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
