Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
