im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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