When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
