It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize