And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
is wine microwaveable?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
COCAINE IS GR8
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
