Don't you send me to vm
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
