OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
