How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
