I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize