Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You ever have a fart follow you around?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
