I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize