the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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