After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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