With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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