I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
