O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
