Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
