I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
