Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
