I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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