do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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