oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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