all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
