Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
