remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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