I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she told me i tasted like america
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
