Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize