worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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