Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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