her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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