i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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